The first thing that drew me to this book was the title, I used to be an overly anxious person and a chief worrier. I’m sure if they paid people for worrying, I would be a millionaire. This book really changed my life and we would get to the key things I learned and you can learn too.
This is my second time reading Dale Cornegie’s book and I’m sure we can all guess the first book 😉. I love Dale’s style of writing; he uses a lot of examples to drive his point home, it’s amazing. He also makes use of simple words and is clear in his writing. I love that this book is practical, he explains principles that I have heard before and puts them in a working manual after all, “knowledge is in doing”. I loved reading his books and I believe this book should be reviewed frequently to get the best out of it.
Worry is a Habit. Yes! You don’t just overly worry because it’s normal, you worry because you have created a habit of worrying. If there’s anything I can vouch for, it's that any habit can be overcome. Life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour. Worry is like a thief, programmed to always put us off living. Don’t let worry steal from you anymore, here are some key points to stop worrying and start living:
“What’s the worst that can happen”. Learn to ask yourself this as frequently as you worry. This question is like a magic formula for overcoming worry. I remember using this a lot as a teenager and one thing it did was help me get ready for the worst. When we worry, our minds jump here and there, and we lose all power of decision. This is so true! Asking this question helps you to put things in perspective, it would also help you to quickly accept the worst and improve on it.
Confusion is the chief cause of worry. Instead of obsessing on the matters that make us worried let us seek clarity. In the light of knowledge, worries will usually evaporate. I strongly believe that clearly stating your worries has solved it halfway. I’m such a big fan of journalling, so you would usually find me scribbling down some reasons why a certain thing worried me but this book brings a new perspective to things. Writing it down is good but it’s just a step to actually solving the problem, you should also write down what you can do about the problem. This method is so superb because it goes directly to the heart of the problem. Proceed to do something about it and do something about it immediately. You should employ this method to one of your worries right now.
Worry habits can break you! As I always say “Before you break me, I will finish you”. Worry wants to finish you but make sure to finish it.
“The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother whether you are happy or not” From experience, the cheapest drug to the illness of worry is keeping busy. Find something to do with your time, be engrossed in it, and watch all your worries be lost.
Most people would be busy during the day and go back to worrying throughout the night which is way worse so another thing you can do is to use the law of average to predict the probability of what you worry about happening. To be honest, most of the things you worry about aren’t going to be so bad. When I was in secondary school, I was a mess in worry. I didn’t necessarily have a reason to be worried I didn’t need one, I just needed to be in school. It always felt like something bad was going to happen to me. It has been said that most of our worries come from our imagination and not from reality so it's no shock that many things I often worried about never happened. Ask yourself “What are the odds against my worry happening?”
Our thoughts make us what we are! Our mental attitude has a huge part to play in our fate. So, if you think happy thoughts, you will be happy. This is particularly true; I experienced an obvious shift when I started living based on my mental attitude. I began to have a mind-blowing level of peace and joy that’s not dependent on what I have or where I am.
“The mind is its place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell and hell of heaven”
Start changing how you think and act and you’ll see improvement in the quality of your life daily. “Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful”
The perfect way to conquer worry is prayer. The book of James chapter 5 verse 16 is one of my all-time favourite scriptures. Prayer is the most powerful form of energy one can generate. The truth is that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. We are surrounded by mysteries. Hello! I can not overemphasize this, believing in Jesus Christ has changed my life. I now have a new zest for life, it’s like I was dead and now I get to live a satisfying life. There’s a hymn that the writer referenced and I thought of the lyrics
“… Oh what peace we often forfeit
Oh what needless pains we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer”
The story of my life can’t be complete without the powerful effect of prayer and the power of God within me. “The religious person is accordingly unshakeable and full of equality, and calmly ready for any duty that the day may bring forth”
If you often worry about criticism, remember that unjust criticism is often disguised compliment. I always tell myself that not everyone is criticizing me, there’s a huge difference between criticism and just complaining. Criticism should always help you, always! Learn to be your own most severe critic and embrace criticism with openness, stop defending yourself, it’s becoming embarrassing! Take it, learn from it, or disregard it but still accept critics with an open mind.
“Rest is not a matter of doing absolutely nothing, rest is repair” Most of our worries come from fatigue. Please rest often! Unclench your muscles, and do things in order and as when due. Keeping a to-do list has helped my life, it helps me to do things faster and more efficiently, and that way I can have rest time. I also take myself out, It helps me relax and refuels my energy.
This book is solid and I would read this again. I also loved the testimonies from individuals at the end of the book. It helped me realize that truly anyone can break off worrying, no habit is too far gone or too bad to be changed. I highly recommend this book!
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